Why do guys flake?

[Chancesawyer]

I am totally bored out of my mind so I thought I would enter this minefield. It happens all the time on BOTH sides. Many times I would love to see someone and have a whole 60 minutes to get to you, play for the HHR and then get back to work. Its called Lunch. Guess what is super annoying? Sitting in the lot waiting and then leaving. Then my phone getting blown up about how your now ready 30 minutes after we were supposed to start (this is a generality not personally to the OP). Or how about sitting in front of a House for 20 minutes and then I just leave. Who actually flaked? What about emergencies? They happen or as I like to call it Life happens. If your son or daughter has an issue at school THAT is probably the most important thing on your mind and your not going to care about me sitting in a car till your family is taken care of.

THE DIFFERENCE is the habituality. That's why you have a ladies section to talk about stuff. Is the person habitually late. Your best bet is to share information. If someone is habitual you are taking the risk. But is someone has a bad day, texts to apologize, then so be it.

Again Life happens to everyone.

[Aviator1]

I'm hearing a lot of mentions of "deposits" as a safeguard against ncns. One man's opinion, that's not going to have the effect you want. When I see the word "deposit" it means only one thing, "scam," and I'm not the only one who thinks this. I know that the ladies here who mentioned it have no ill intent. But the vast majority of others (from other sites) who routinely ask for deposits are full-time thieves who would disappear if paid. I would never ever pay a deposit. But I'd also never NCNS.

[OswaldBates]

I'm hearing a lot of mentions of "deposits" as a safeguard against ncns. One man's opinion, that's not going to have the effect you want. When I see the word "deposit" it means only one thing, "scam," and I'm not the only one who thinks this. I know that the ladies here who mentioned it have no ill intent. But the vast majority of others (from other sites) who routinely ask for deposits are full-time thieves who would disappear if paid. I would never ever pay a deposit. But I'd also never NCNS.

If there was a way to track NCNS, then it would be reasonable to ask for a deposit after 1 NCNS. NCNS numbers could drop off after some time period (like six months).

Not sure how they would be verified - perhaps screenshot of text messages from provider that hobbyiest has chance to rebut via his own text message screenshots.

Providers should face some consequence for wasting a guys time, but not sure what that should be. Just some thoughts.

[ttmax]

I'm hearing a lot of mentions of "deposits" as a safeguard against ncns. One man's opinion, that's not going to have the effect you want. When I see the word "deposit" it means only one thing, "scam," and I'm not the only one who thinks this. I know that the ladies here who mentioned it have no ill intent. But the vast majority of others (from other sites) who routinely ask for deposits are full-time thieves who would disappear if paid. I would never ever pay a deposit. But I'd also never NCNS.

+1

[ttmax]

If there was a way to track NCNS, then it would be reasonable to ask for a deposit after 1 NCNS. NCNS numbers could drop off after some time period (like six months).

Not sure how they would be verified - perhaps screenshot of text messages from provider that hobbyiest has chance to rebut via his own text message screenshots.

Providers should face some consequence for wasting a guys time, but not sure what that should be. Just some thoughts.

Wrong! Wrong! I totally disagree with this....we can have as many rules, as many policies, as many posts about this , but as long as we hobby, there is a fool born every minute that will "pay a deposit " and then complain that they were con!...

[OswaldBates]

@ttmax - you're right. I didn't think about the scenario where a guy's NCNS on a reputable provider is used to justify a deposit for a schemer provider. I take back the deposit requirement after 1 NCNS, but still do think it would be useful to track NCNS, for both guys and girls, in a more visible way than co-ed alert reports. If it's right by a provider/hobbyiests profile, I'd think one would be motivated to bring the number down.

[Champagne Brown]

If there was a way to track NCNS, then it would be reasonable to ask for a deposit after 1 NCNS. NCNS numbers could drop off after some time period (like six months).

Not sure how they would be verified - perhaps screenshot of text messages from provider that hobbyiest has chance to rebut via his own text message screenshots.

Providers should face some consequence for wasting a guys time, but not sure what that should be. Just some thoughts.

I typically block ncns, I'm not saying this guy did a ncns but he ended up on my block list. So he reaches out to my phone wanting to book, so I tell him he's been blocked! He was look I'll pay for the full donation up right, that's probably the only way someone can get a second chance. He was, kicking himself in the ass, he was like wow you're beautiful, my response was don't you regret playing me.. Which I'm on my way to take you off, sir.

[ProV1Guy]

Sometimes clients flake because they are still unsure about the provider. As they drive to the meet up they got dinero in one hand and questions about the provider in the other. Then all of a sudden something just doesn’t seem right. They ask, am I willing to lose this Jack for a chance at it being a so so encounter. I mean it happens.

I know for me, there was a well known provider that I set up with. I get there and she says apt building. I get to the parking spot by the building she told me. Sent text that I’m here. She said, oh wait, it’s this building. Like a horny dumbass I move to the parking lot and tell her I’m there. She says to give her another 10 minutes. So as I size things up that grip on my cash gets a little tighter. I waited and nothing, so I left. Oh well. It happens.

[squirt4me]

Don’t schedule with them again and if you do get a deposit. It’s so inconsiderate but it happens constantly…. I’m fine if they can say hey I’m not going to make it but they literally don’t say anything!!!!

This is exactly why I dont do deposits. Ladies are not the bank…this is a service, i order and receive, you get paid. This is a hustle and business. You get what you get. And i be dang if i front money upfront and be left holding the bag and bill and limp dick. Or better yet get to see a disappointment as we all know many are NOT what they seem. So this is one reason guys flake. Work, business, family, and well just a gut feeling of leave em alone as well. I love it when a lady says she independent then her snap story got pics and vids of her man hitting it raw and they flashing $100s all over the car, bed, mirror. And the mofo just looks like a pimp thug life up to no good.

[squirt4me]

Honey, I'm sorry, but that is total bull. For example, I have had FIVE people ghost me in the last TWO days. FIVE. That means I have wasted time texting back and forth with these people to set up the appointments, I've wasted time getting dressed and ready for them and I've wasted money in the form of turning others away. Not to mention kicking the other people that I live with out of the house. That's not calling and canceling, that's just flat out no call no show. One called to confirm they were on the way thirty or so minutes before the appt, then crickets. One even said he was at the Quicktrip that i have people go to for my address (so I can put my 3 dogs up) and nothing. I'm about at the point of having to ask for a deposit, which I really don't want to do, but what choice do I have? This is killing me!!

And before you say it's me/my appearance, two were people I've seen before so they knew what they were getting into with me.

I would do love your thoughts on what I should do...

-b

That is bs and wrong. I feel and see your struggle and frustration. Maybe deposit it your best option at this point….i for one and am not on the deposit train of giving. Particularly because they want half or more upfront and are not verified on OH ECCIE or any good site. Just pop up HDH looking to scam. Like fake ads and Law man….. However maybe if you make the deposit a small token, it wont deter people from seeing you. Seems like now days the hustle scam and snap crap is all about upfront payment and cash app. $20 to $30 deposit via cash app if u seeing unknown gents with unreliable track records.

At the end of the day, whatever you choose, someone will not like it and that’s their choice. Just like we all have a sexual preference and style.

[LuckyLefty81]

Guys flake?

Disclaimer: I had a previous handle that I got locked out of and I can’t get back in…..

I had an appointment with Casey a year or so ago in Austin and when I got to the incall she texts me sorry I can’t see you because “I am not your type” based on the reviews I had posted on slimmer spinner type girls. I explain I booked because I wanted to see her and she said no she won’t see me. I wasted time to go to the incall and get her the monster drinks she asked for…

It’s a shame this girl isn’t a superstar by now.

[squirt4me]

Don’t schedule with them again and if you do get a deposit. It’s so inconsiderate but it happens constantly…. I’m fine if they can say hey I’m not going to make it but they literally don’t say anything!!!!

This is exactly why I dont do deposits. Ladies are not the bank…this is a service, i order and receive, you get paid. This is a hustle and business. You get what you get. And i be dang if i front money upfront and be left holding the bag and bill and limp dick. Or better yet get to see a disappointment as we all know many are NOT what they seem. So this is one reason guys flake. Work, business, family, and well just a gut feeling of leave em alone as well. I love it when a lady says she independent then her snap story got pics and vids of her man hitting it raw and they flashing $100s all over the car, bed, mirror. And the mofo just looks like a pimp thug life up to no good.

[club517]

Both sides flake. I've met many providers that flake. And I do know clients flake too, for various reasons. And paying up front - no way. There is no real trust established up front - especially w/ providers - or clients - that you don't know or have never met. I've seen many clients get taken for a ride for their deposits. This is how the industry is, very unscrupulous and proceed w/ caution - find your niche or those providers / clients you can establish a good rapport and r-ship. What's ironic is I find a lot more providers who don't get that - - they'll do it the first meeting (great job) but after that their service declines or they want more $$.

[Bilejo]

I don’t usually have a problem with people flaking.. and I prob can be accused of flaking a few times. My biggest problem that I run into is just not being responded to at all, or I get an initial response and then nothing for hours and sometimes days later. And even then it’s a one word response to a question I forgot I asked. And this leads to the flaking because I have to hit up multiple people on this forum to maybe get a response and then you have to hope the provider can make your schedule work and is ready at the time they agreed.

Sometimes I think I have pissed someone off and my number must be on some no list but then I have a good experience and just assume people are busy and aren’t very good at this part of the job. I know the ladies must get hit up constantly so I have sympathy for the time that they waste as well.

[ttmax]

Bilejo +1 , ..but your statement is like mine, we worry too much about what they may be thinking and we need to think for ourselves...quote "
Sometimes I think I have pissed someone off and my number must be on some no list but then I have a good experience and just assume people are busy and aren’t very good at this part of the job. I know the ladies must get hit up constantly so I have sympathy for the time that they waste as well."

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