Spring is here, and time to return to nature and get busy like the birds and bees! Doesn't the weather just make you feel like pollinating someone?

Well, come play in my garden bed of Irish delights, lad. We can start with a 90-minute planting session for $250, continue deep fertilization for 2 & 1/2 hours for $350, or enjoy the flowers and fruits of the harvest for an entire eve for $500. I can offer incall or outcall, and I'm also available for overnight tilling and extended seed travel. Check out my colorful blossoms when you Visit My Website. Contact me for a cultivation consultation at 936-232-8590, or at My Email. I'm available Tuesday through Friday this week from noon to 10 p.m.

A little dose of Fancy will cure your root problem, darlin, and have you budding in no time.

(Now, remember, gentlemen, that all this is as ephemeral as a spring shower&#39;s rainbow, and that the exchange of currency for the recreational application of Mother Nature&#39;s biology lessons is against the law of the land. You are compensating me for my time, companionship, and imaginative horticultural ability to make things bloom.) Oh, sorry, lads, but I cannot respond to text messages and calls from blocked numbers.</span>

<span style="color:#008080">This Saturday 4/25 I&#39;ll be in full Irish wench garb with dragon, or maybe my Scottish friend Nessie, in hand at the Houston International Festival Salute to Ireland. (Hopefully no torrential rains and flooding like last weekend. I was starting to feel like the Creature of the Black Lagoon.) Please feel free to wave and/or shout, "Erin go Bragh!" (Ireland Forever!)