Backing Out of a Bad Appointment

[Guest 101618-A]

When I found myself in this situation a couple of time before deciding to go with ASPD providers exclusively, I basically just toughed it out to the end and got out, leaving my cash behind and taking it as an expensive lesson. I don't do drama, certainly not in an environment I am unsure of.

One case the provider indicated FS during initial discussions but wound up being just a rub and a tug. That was even bad because of bad lube basically e=wearing me out.

The other was similar setup that wound up being much larger and undesirable with a bad incall. I should have left immediately, but the littel head was being stupid, and as you know you can't fix stupid. Wound up as a rub and a tug as well, though more successful than the previous one. I slipped out the door as quickly as I could.

My next adventure was with a provider who introduced me to ASPD and I haven't had a bad experience since.

It is my recommendation that you not venture off the reservation unless you are willing to take the hit.

Rover14

[sexualkitty]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (charlestudor2005 @ Mar 24 2009, 07:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

In answer to your quest, I don&#39;t think it is good form to back out except in the 1st 5 minutes or so. You make a date, agree to the cost of companionship. You should live up to the agreement.[/b]

I agree with charles. I think it&#39;s acceptable to bow out within the first 5 min of walking thru the door.
It&#39;s also your choice to compensate or not if you do not stay for the session.
You&#39;ve gotten some great advice on here & I wish I could provide more, but it seems like everyone has beat me to it.
If the provider has a website look at ALL the information provides & pay attention to her reviews, etiquette & FAQs page.
If she doesn&#39;t have a website & you can&#39;t find any info on her, it might be wise to pass on her.
Good Luck sweetie & hope your next encounter is fabulous ^_^

[Quiet Smiles]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Opium89 @ Mar 24 2009, 01:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

At that point I politely said "this isn&#39;t working for me" and requested most of my money returned. After persisting she return my money, she began screaming at the top of her lungs (in a hotel room mind you) and physically swinging at me when I grabbed it from her. Well I got most of the money back but with far more drama then I prefer.[/b]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Opium89 @ Mar 24 2009, 05:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

I guess the point is this. In the first case mentioned, being already well into things by the time the fake intercourse was attempted, she was obviously bat-shit nutty, but you&#39;re right...That amount of drama is not worth a few hundred dollars but dammit, I didn&#39;t feel right leaving her with a few hundred bucks and knowing she had gotten the better of me. [/b]

Whoa. That last sentence is what&#39;s going to get you in a world of [bigger] trouble at some point down the road, I fear. Good golly, getting into a physical and/or verbal scuffle over $200, with a lady you don&#39;t know and have already determined is batshit crazy and with whom you&#39;ve already gotten nekkid and engaged in illegal acts with is so not a good plan. :blink: There is just too much potential danger and possible baaaad outcomes in that type of scenario. I&#39;d strongly advise to get past the concept of feeling "she got the better of me" and realize, OMG, $200 is a small price to pay to escape that bad situation and avoid a potentially life-altering drama!



You&#39;ve already been given excellent insight and advice by everyone here. It&#39;s common sense stuff, really, and forcing yourself to think and act logically with the big head in a situation. Letting emotions (and/or the little head) run the show is what gets you into trouble and ends in unhappy outcomes for you.

To recap:

1) Research, research, research.
"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." If keeping your risk level as low as possible and not feeling you&#39;ve wasted any of your money or been ripped off by a lady/agency is a primary concern, then exhaustive research before booking with any lady is mandatory. You will also need to limit yourself to only seeing ladies who have impeccable reputations and tons of glowing reviews or who are personally recommended by hobby buddies whose judgement and recommendations you trust implicitly.
~~If you are the type who can&#39;t always stick to the well-lit path and just has to have an adventure into the wild unknown AKA finding that mythical CL "diamond in the rough", then you HAVE to accept the risk involved in that. You must be able to live with the knowledge that your $$ is more times than not going to be misspent on a disappointing experience. There are no guarantees in this hobby, and especially when exploring the uncharted waters of CL.

2) Accept up front that after you give a lady your donation and begin any BCD activities, you are not going to see that $$ again. No matter if her attitude and/or skills are lame and not what you expected or desired, no matter if she doesn&#39;t look like what you envisioned and/or what she advertised, once the money has changed hands and you have engaged in BCD activities, there are no refunds. It might not be "fair" or "right" but that&#39;s the way it is in this business. There are ladies out there who will voluntarily refund you part of your donation in that type of situation, but don&#39;t count on it or expect it to happen. And most likely, if you&#39;re with a lady who&#39;s falsely advertised herself and/or her services, she&#39;s NOT going to be the type of lady who would be agreeable to any kind of refunds. Make sense?

3) If you meet the lady and she&#39;s absolutely not what you were expecting and you do not want to go through with the session, you need to cut your losses and end it immediately (within the first few minutes). Seriously, you know pretty quickly if you&#39;re attracted to someone and want to spend BCD time with them or not, right?
~~If the lady shows up and she has falsely advertised herself (she&#39;s not the lady in the photos, or the photos are very old/misleading, or her description of herself was nowhere near accurate), then IMO you don&#39;t owe her anything. She is at fault here for false advertising. Politely say, "I&#39;m sorry, but you are not the lady in the photos and I don&#39;t wish to do business with you." You can&#39;t wait until you&#39;ve gotten her nekkid and started fooling around, then decide to stop and demand a refund. You&#39;ve got to cut things off BEFORE you get to that point.
~~If the lady shows up and yes, she&#39;s the lady in the photos, but yikes, you just know you don&#39;t want to get BCD with her after all, then immediately call it off. You can either tell her outright you just can&#39;t go through with it, or use an excuse such as "I&#39;m very sorry, I&#39;ve been called back in to work and can&#39;t stay." In this case, since she didn&#39;t bait/switch or deceive you and it&#39;s just a matter of you knowing she&#39;s not your type, then I&#39;d say you should give her some type of compensation for her time and loss of appointment. She may have turned down other appointment requests to accept yours, or have expenses for traveling there or hiring a sitter for her kids, etc., so some type of appropriate gratuity is in order. You might ask her, "is $40 (or $100, or whatever number you think) a fair amount to cover your expenses getting here?"
*Again: the time for refunds is BEFORE nekkid BCD activities begin. After nekkid BCD activities begin, no refunds.

[down41]

Absolutely agree with everything Quiet Smiles said. If you&#39;re not happy with what you&#39;re into, bow out of it as soon as possible. But do it tactfully and, more importantly, do it safely. Nobody wants any bat-shit crazy psycho drama.

[AustinLiv]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (down41 @ Mar 25 2009, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Nobody wants any bat-shit crazy psycho drama.[/b]

Unless of course you are a batshit crazy psycho. :)