Pre meeting deposit etiquette

I am relatively new to this hobby and since I am still working on being a "verified" member, I often run into situations where a verified provider I would like to see needs establish my credentials for her and my safety - appreciate them doing their part.

However what are the "not to dos" when a oh2 verified provider asks for a deposit before we meet. Since this is before the meeting, this would have to be over the Internet somehow. I have been asked cash app or gift card sent to their email. They could basically ghost me after the deposit however, on the other hand I feel if they are verified here, they might not jepordize their community status for my little change of the deposit I make to them.

More than losing my money I feel an online payment leaves a trace (specially apps like cash app).

My strong advice is never send deposits. There are plenty of ladies here who offer verification without the need for a deposit. And "verified" is just a status, which doesn't really mean much. This is a free forum, not an enforcement agency. All kinds of events have happened (see the Alerts section) and some have had no consequences. Stay informed and draw your own conclusions.

While the point about them not risking their reputation over "chump change" *could* be true, a simple verified status is definitely not enough to determine that. There have been plenty of instances where it's happened and since it's always "he said/she said", doesn't mean those things would stop them. Especially if you're new and she isn't, so she assumes her word means more. While it may not look like much, if she can make 200 off say 4 guys for zero work, that makes it worth it to some folks, especially those that are hurting.
Established providers are certainly different than just verified. I myself do take deposits for clients who may be lurkers/new with zero posting history or references, and I've never just kept a deposit, unless they canceled obviously, as unfortunately a lot of newbies don't think it matters about paying a cancellation fee and are typically the first ones to refuse to pay it, even though it's spelled out in black and white in my ad. As well as many other established providers who also require it occasionally so our time isn't wasted. There are plenty of legitimate businesses who charge cancellation fees, the main difference is you can fight for your money back if you got scammed from a legitimate business but the point still stands. If you're that uncomfortable providing one, then there are plenty of providers with other methods of verification, but that will typically involve providing some RW information regardless. So it's ultimately up to you which route you'd like to go. But like TC said, do your research and stay informed about who you're seeing/reaching out to. There are plenty of fish in the sea for you to find the one thats right for you.

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Originally Posted by dudedesi

However what are the "not to dos"

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One is not to discuss deposits:

"Forum: Coed Discussion - Austin

No HIDE tags allowed. No discussions about rates or deposit"

Paying a deposit does not insure a session will be had. She can at any time claim you did something and 'broke her rules' and she keeps it. Then it becomes 'he said she said'.

The one time I paid a deposit. Said provider changed the appt 3 times. Then was 1.5 hours late. Blamed it on traffic when there was no traffic. All along she had more than 1/3rd of the total session amount. I would have canceled the appt if I did not pay a deposit. So it kept me on the hook when I should not have been. So there is nothing to insure good TCB by paying a deposit, Does not put you in front of the line or equal white glove service.

Many providers are fine with more screening. I suggest using them first to get your references.

Very few providers ask for deposits.

There are many scams out there regarding this topic. These are more common on sites like Listcrawler. It's well know that Tryst has had provider's accounts hacked by scammers who use deposits in their scams.

If you searched this whole site, you will find guys 99% of the time warn about NOT paying them. I have never paid a deposit and never will... under any circumstances...

The concern about leaving a trace is also valid... stay away from things that leave a record or for which you can be tracked. If you do not have a significant other it changes things since there may be less snooping. CashApp is the least traceable since you can use made up accounts... except sooner or later all electronic payment options will show up on a bank account statement.

Cash is king and the preferred method of payment for hobbyists....

A'Man

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Originally Posted by saustin

One is not to discuss deposits:

"Forum: Coed Discussion - Austin

No HIDE tags allowed. No discussions about rates or deposit"

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Thanks for pointing this out. Sorry, would a moderator/admin be able to help moving this discussion to the right Forum.

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Originally Posted by dudedesi

Thanks for pointing this out. Sorry, would a moderator/admin be able to help moving this discussion to the right Forum.

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There is no "right forum". Discussion of rates/deposits isn't allowed anywhere honestly, because of the responses above.
Like I said and others, there are plenty who don't require it, so if you don't feel comfortable then move along. It's really quite that simple.

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Originally Posted by SexySammy

There is no "right forum". Discussion of rates/deposits isn't allowed anywhere honestly, because of the responses above.
Like I said and others, there are plenty who don't require it, so if you don't feel comfortable then move along. It's really quite that simple.

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Make sense - the take away is cash is king, thanks!

Not for long in even our day-to-day society lol hell I've been to several Starbucks that don't accept cash. Our world trying to move into a cashless society one day at a time :)
In my opinion the takeaway is more like, if you don't like/want to provide a deposit, find someone who doesn't require one or provide the necessary information to be vetted by certain providers or see those who accept references but (shrugs shoulders), whatever you say. For someone who claimed to be new, you obviously weren't actually looking for information on it and just wanted to complain about the requirement of deposits for certain providers lol You asked what the "not to dos" were when a provider requires a deposit and unfortunately "cash is king" isn't the answer to that question. Nor are opinions on whether they should be paid or not lol don't want to pay one, find a provider that doesn't require them.

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Originally Posted by saustin

One is not to discuss deposits:

"Forum: Coed Discussion - Austin

No HIDE tags allowed. No discussions about rates or deposit"

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by SexySammy

There is no "right forum". Discussion of rates/deposits isn't allowed anywhere honestly, because of the responses above.
Like I said and others, there are plenty who don't require it, so if you don't feel comfortable then move along. It's really quite that simple.

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That is not correct. The only forums where rate topics are not allowed are the Coed and Welcome wagon forums.

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Originally Posted by Mokoa

That is not correct. The only forums where rate topics are not allowed are the Coed and Welcome wagon forums.

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Thank you Sir!! The Hall Monitors needed a refresher of the rules. ����

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Originally Posted by Adonisman

Thank you Sir!! The Hall Monitors needed a refresher of the rules. ����

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Lol this is still the coed section and considering those are the main spots for hobby related discussions I mean it still stands. Unless you want to hide in the private areas of course.
You seem to also need some refreshers on the rules :)

But thank you for the specification Mokoa as always.