Please help?!!!

Hey! It's been ages since I've been able to post on here, and I feel like a total loser this being my first post in awhile but im in a bad spot and don't know how to get myself out. I have every intention to leave Virginia and go back to the San Antonio area ASAP, nothing good has happened since I left. If my car would make it there I'd be there already. But im losing my cosigner and my housing situation all together so I'm really just trying to figure out how do I come up with the money for a reliable car and make it back. If I can get help I promise anything you'd want from me will cost you nothing just your signature and whatever else the car company asks as down payment is really what I'm begging for. On KBB my cars worth over $2000 so of course that will go towards the car. Plus i will pay the payment either to you or a money order and keep full coverage insurance on the vehicle like its a luxury vehicle. Im putting my pride aside right now asking for help and I know it may look sad how I'm going about doing this but I don't have family or friends to ask. Also you can hold the 2 most important things I pocess, my dogs ashes and a blanket i got from my mother's funeral. Again I'm begging here please can anyone show me that not all hope is lost?